welcome to my journal.
If you found this, I'll apologize in advance. I am not only funny, i am weird, depressed, anxious, and well a bit all over the place. Sooooooo here we go.
In 2022 i was diagnosed with PTSD, MDD, anxiety, all stemming from and MST that happened while i was active duty. During that time i tried to keep it in and deal with it but apparently when you sweep it under the rug so many times a lump forms and it starts to spill out. That is exactly what happened.
So it’s 2025 and i have accomplished nothing since getting medically retired.
Intrusive thoughts are always there and as much as id like them to go away they just will not. It has gotten to the point i wake up and think “why did i wake up” but i did nothing the previous day to not wake up. It’s just annoying honestly. I can’t even function without thinking id be better off “unalived”
Nightmares are so vivid it’s like reliving the damn thing all over again. It better if i just dont sleep.
AND the FUCKING flashbacks. I’d rather be punched in the vagina a million times. But here we are, thinking we’re back where it happened instead of getting kicked in the vagina.
Anywho, we can talk some more tomorrow.
K, byeeeeeeee
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